I try to be tough - but actually I am not. As a result life
is sending me all sorts of creepy crawlies to test my resilience...and no
despite popular opinion this is not a blog about my love life.
I have devised a special frog catching tupperware-sequence (patent
pending) that is remarkably effective. Have perfected the broom and spade
beating a scorpion to death routine and otherwise date men who doesn't mind
catching spiders or at least pretend to remove them from my house with minimal
emotion and probably scream in the car afterwards. Otherwise I just leave them
to my domestic worker who usually beats them to death with an encyclopedia,
despite my pleas that they be helped out into the garden in a gentle way. It is
always great to give instructions from the lounge if the spider is in the
bedroom.
Last month when there was a spider in my room and Liefie was
out saving really sick people instead of me, I just locked the door and went to
sleep in the guest bedroom until help arrived. I am not sure why one needs to
lock the door, but you never know.
This week I saw a whole health forum on the internet (am the
health reporter so can do this in working hours) that dealt with people whose
sleep is disturbed because their brains wake them up and make them see spiders
in their beds. It was a disturbing read. I have a feeling I might suffer of
this - better not to tempt fate though - some of them might be real.
The next day as I was lying in the bath I saw a spider on
the ceiling. I thought it would be fine. The next minute I heard a plop as
spider dropped into the bath. I am now the proud new holder of the landspeed
record for getting out of the bath, into a towel, locking a bathroom door and
trying to calm self down in the bedroom. It was fairly tough to explain the
whole situation to Liefie a bit later especially as he could not stop laughing.
The house has now been fumigated. Have temporarily forgotten
that I care about the environment.
O yes... local news updates for those of you who asked:
The Neighbourhood Watch has stopped with their flashing. Now I only
have to reform ADT.
The avian warfare is continuing. One of the main instigators
have lost a leg. Not sure how but I swear I will move if I find it in my
garden. Am contemplating if appropriate
to ask new love interest to do scouting for foot before I venture back into the garden.
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